Hunting for A Significant Other
by Mel Schnapper
What makes job hunting unique for singles? Aren't employers more concerned with your abilities and experience than with your marital status?
The answers to these questions are "There's nothing unique about the job hunting process itself" and "yes".
However, in this article, I will draw the parallels between a successful job hunting campaign and a man/woman hunting campaign. For starters: in both cases you have to be out in the world meeting people. both involve salesmanship, both involve knowing what your assets are and how to present yourself to the potential employer/other person: both involve snap judgments about compatibility after a very brief interview; appearance is important in both situations. you seldom get an opportunity to correct any misinterpretations from the first interview/date and in both cases you're likely to hear some variation of. "Don't call us. we'll call you."
Though the singles scene doesn't require you present a formal resume as part of the first date or encounter, in effect. how you describe yourself verbally (or in written form i.e. singles ads) will immediately screen you in or out for further consideration. Of equal importance in job hunting. as in dating. you should have a clear picture of the kind of job you want and the kind of person you'd like to meet. Otherwise without this clarity. you are likely to waste a lot of time. money and effort in aimless pursuit of the undefined.
"Interviewing" is critical in each search. Knowing how to respond and showing an interest in the job/person are equally important. And knowing how to follow up the interview/first date with a phone call or personal note is essential. Telephone techniques are equally critical. especially if it's to impress someone you've not yet met.
Unavoidable to each search is the absolute necessity to be out in the right environment where your potential for meeting the right person can be enhanced just by the numbers. If job hunting and finding a -significant other" art both factors of luck. then you increase your chance of being in the right place and right time, by being in as many places as much of the time as you can.
So having identified the right job (career objective) and the right person (Mr./Ms. Right having identified your assets for employment (resume) and as a desirable person (personal inventory); your next task in both pursuits is to make a significant commitment of time. money. energy. Select those environments (clubs. bars, classes. neighborhoods. ads. etc.) where you Can develop a presence. so that after repeated attendance you will inevitably build up a network of people which will probably lead to the right job and/or right relationship.
Mel Schnapper. Ph.D. is a consultant to individuals and organizations. He counsels people about career objectives. job hunting skills and other areas of interpersonal competence. He is single and custodial parent of two boys. Mel claims that his transition to the single world has been accelerated by the use of the many skills he has taught
